How to be a Minimalist (when your partner isn’t)  – Alloastuces

As a dedicated minimalist, I often get asked how I manage to keep my home tidy and organized when my partner is far messier than I am. This is a common challenge for many minimalists! While it can seem daunting to keep things orderly when you don’t see eye to eye on clutter, it is possible to strike a balance.

When I first embarked on my minimalist journey, I’ll admit – I was judgemental of my partner’s messiness. I couldn’t understand how he could relax surrounded by clutter and random objects.

Creating Your Own Minimalist Space

The first step in maintaining your minimalist lifestyle while living with a messy partner is to focus on your own spaces. Your bedroom, office area, and other personal zones are places that can remain decluttered and soothingly organized.

Some tips for creating your own minimalist haven:

  • Only keep items in your spaces that truly spark joy and serve a purpose. Don’t clutter up your zones just to avoid mess in common areas.
  • Designate places for everything you use daily, and be sure to always put items back in their spots. This helps stave off disorder.
  • Limit decorative items to a few beloved pieces. Too many knickknacks can quickly lead to clutter.
  • Institute a “one in, one out” rule. If you bring something new into your space, something old must be donated or trashed.

Having an organized personal environment allows you to destress and feel centered when the rest of your home feels chaotic. It’s your oasis!

Allowing Your Partner Their Own Messy Spaces

While you crave order, it’s important to recognize that your partner may actually thrive in their mess. And as the saying goes, “You do you.” Allow them autonomy over their own spaces by resisting the urge to “tidy up” their clutter. As long as paths are clear and no hazards are present, try embracing the mess!

Tips for respecting your partner’s clutter:

  • Never move or discard items from their spaces without permission. This destroys trust.
  • Don’t constantly nag or critique their mess. Recognize it sparks them joy!
  • Help them organize their stuff only upon request. Otherwise, let them manage their domain.
  • If the mess truly gets out of control, gently offer to help them clear out unused items. Avoid judgement.

With a “my space, your space” mentality, you can better tolerate your different household approaches.

Organizing Shared Living Spaces

Common living spaces like the kitchen, living room, laundry and more require compromise. Here are some tips for maintaining minimalism in these zones:


  • Institute a clear organizational system for dishes, food items and cooking tools. Label cabinets and drawers.
  • Use trays and bins to corral messy items like mail, keys and random stuff. This at least contains chaos.
  • Assign kitchen zones – for example, cooking items stay on the counter, not the table.
  • Display just a few favorite appliances. Store the rest out of sight until needed.
  • Align on a daily tidy up time to put everything back in place.

Living Room

  • Choose sleek, multipurpose furniture with discreet storage for hiding clutter.
  • Designate “zones” – media stays by the TV, toys get corralled in baskets.
  • Commit to surface decluttering before bed each night to start fresh daily.
  • Schedule a weekly deeper clean to return items to their homes and vacuum up dust bunnies.


  • Use rolling bins or baskets to make transporting laundry simple and mess-free.
  • Fold and put away laundry right after drying. Leaving it out invites mess.
  • Contain accessories like socks and delicates in dedicated drawers or pouches.

With some organization habits, shared spaces can retain a minimalist look despite your different styles. The key is getting your partner onboard!

Setting House Rules

To enable a harmonious shared home, certain house rules are essential. These should be agreed upon, reasonable for both parties, and consistently followed. Post them visibly!

Clean House Rules:

  • No leaving trash, dishes or clutter sitting out for more than 24 hours
  • Wipe counters and surfaces after cooking. Sweep up crumbs and spills.
  • Put clothing and linens away properly after laundering. Don’t drape them over furniture!
  • Transport items to their designated homes after use. Don’t just set them down wherever.

Clutter Rules:

  • Contain clutter to your own personal spaces
  • Leave flat surfaces like tables and counter space clear for actual use
  • Limit clutter to contained areas like bins, cabinets and closets. Don’t allow it to spread!

Storage Rules:

  • Only keep regularly used items out. Designate homes for the rest.
  • Avoid cabinet and closet over-stuffing. It breeds hidden mess!
  • Check storage areas seasonally and purge unused items.

Reasonable rules allow for tidiness and sanity! Just be sure you both adhere to them.

Finding Harmony Despite Different Organizing Styles

The minimalist/messy partner dynamic can absolutely work with mutual understanding. Here are some final tips:

  • Accept your differences! Don’t expect your partner to conform wholly to your lifestyle.
  • Compromise. Take turns choosing decor themes or organizing systems for shared spaces.
  • Communicate calmly. Never criticize their messiness! Use “I” statements to express your needs.
  • Lead by example. Turn your spaces into shining minimalist examples. But don’t lecture.
  • Praise progress. Notice and appreciate any organizing or decluttering efforts. Positive reinforcement works!
  • Know when to seek help. If hoarding interferes with safety and hygiene, it may be time for professional assistance.

While challenging at times, loving each other as you are and finding personalized strategies will enable household harmony. With work, mutual respect and lots of open storage accessories, minimalists and messy partners can live in peaceful coexistence.

Source link

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *